Anything Fiercer
by Ekwy
Summary: He's the great Rumpus Cat, and has taken it upon himself to keep the cats of London safe. He has faced Pollicles, murderers and thieves. There's just one thing... He's never faced Etcetera. .:COMPLETED:.
1. Damsel in Distress

Disclaimer: CATS doesn't belong to me but to T. S. Eliot and Andrew Lloyd Webber. This idea isn't really mine either, but yoinked from Mystitat's Fanfic Idea page.

This story is my contribution to Mystitat's fanfiction contest. Enjoy!

**One: Damsel in Distress**

Etcetera was running. She tasted blood in her mouth and felt how her legs buckled from the strain, but she had to keep going. If she stopped, then they would get to her. She heard their barks echo in her ears and knew that this was it. This was how she was going to die. 

She hadn't meant to be so far away from home. It had just happened somehow anyway. And then she had ended up in Pollicle territory, and they had spotted her, and now she was running for her life back to the junkyard. The question was just if she would last that long. Her legs were failing her, and she had been running for so long that she didn't think she'd be able to get a word out to call for help when she finally reached home. 

The Pollicles barked furiously and snapped after her tail. They were so close now. What would she do when they caught up with her? Fight? No, Etcetera couldn't fight. She may be older and somewhat wiser, but she was still just a kitten, and quite a small one at that. She wouldn't last long, but maybe she'd feel better about it if she died fighting instead of just giving up. 

'All right, just turn around and face them now, Etcie,' she thought as she ran. 'Get it over with. Do it. Now.' 

Somehow she just couldn't bring herself to stop. She didn't want to die. 

A dog managed to get its teeth around a few strands of fur on the tip of her tail, and Etcetera yowled loudly in pain. A surge of fury came over her. Okay, that was it! She turned around, ready to face her fate. 

The Pollicles stopped for a moment, probably surprised to find that the kitten had ceased running. Then they growled. She felt their breath on her face and grimaced. It smelt of old blood. 

Etcetera closed her eyes and waited. She didn't want to see who got the first bite out of her. 

It took very long for them to begin. Perhaps they couldn't decide on who was going first? She could hear loud barks and yelps, and figured they were fighting over her. Maybe she could sneak off as they fought and get to safety? 

Etcetera opened her eyes and gasped. 

There was fighting going on, but not between the Pollicles. A cat had shown up that Etcetera didn't recognize. He was tall and had black fur, but that was basically all she could gather since he spun around like a tornado fighting the Pollicles off. A pit bull whined as the mysterious tom twirled around and scratched it on the nose with long, razor sharp claws, before he turned on the spot and hit an Alsatian with his back legs in the face. 

The dogs didn't know exactly what to do. Parts of them seemed to want to run away with their tails between their legs, but another part wanted to stay and show this _feline_ that you didn't mess with the Pollicles! The result was that the dogs stayed put, but their legs twitched randomly as if they itched to carry their owners far, far away. The Pollicles had never seen a cat fight like this. They had never seen _anything_ fight like this. 

As the mystery cat methodically worked his way through the entire pack of dogs, Etcetera found herself staring at him. She had never seen a tom this brave before... 

Finally the dogs ran away, beaten almost to the point of not being able to walk in a straight line, and also extremely embarrassed that they had been taken down by a cat. There would be no end of this once the story got out, and the story always got out. Everyone would laugh, and especially the Pekes. Woe! 

The tom stood calmly and looked at them as they ran off, his eyes gleaming red like balls of fire. The shadow of a smile ran across his features as he turned around and looked at Etcetera. His body stiffened momentarily as he noticed her, but he recovered from it splendidly. 

'I wonder if he's seen me before?' thought Etcetera. 'It seems like it...' 

"You all right?" he asked, his voice low. 

"I'm fine," said Etcetera and coloured a bit. "Thank you. I mean..." 

She wasn't quite sure what to say. What did you say to the tom who had just saved your life? "Thank you" did sound rather tame. 

Now she noticed that he was mainly black, but that he had some sort of mark on his chest. It was a large R in a white shield, and with a pang of realization she knew who her saviour was. 

"You're the Rumpus Cat, aren't you?" she said, her eyes widening. 

He nodded. "You have heard of me, I take it." 

"Totally! You're the one that broke off that big fight between the Pekes and the Pollicles and the Pugs and the Poms! Munkustrap told us about you the last Jellicle Ball! We had one of the tom kittens to play you! You're a hero!" 

Etcetera knew she was gushing. She couldn't help it. This was just too cool. 

The Rumpus Cat cleared his throat. "Well, I think I'll go, then. If you're okay. Go home now, Etcetera." 

He didn't wait for her response, but merged into the shadows and was gone. Etcetera was left alone, blinking in surprise. 

"Wait!" she called out into the darkness. "How did you know my name?" 

The Rumpus Cat didn't show up again or respond, so the kitten sighed deeply and started to walk home. She couldn't _wait_ until she told her friends about this! 

A pair of red eyes watched her from the roof of a house, eyes that slowly faded into a more normal yellow as they followed Etcetera. The face of the Rumpus Cat changed from being completely white to having a brown patch over the left eye, and the pitch black fur on his body became tousles of brown and white. The R and the shield on his chest shrank and faded until they were barely more than small marks underneath the fur, invisible to anyone if you weren't looking especially for them. 

The transformation barely took 30 seconds, and when it was completely over, a young tom that was about as different from the intimidating Rumpus Cat as you could possibly be, was standing on the roof. 

"That was close," said Pouncival to himself. 

Then he took a peek at himself in a puddle of water, stated that he looked inconspicuous enough, and started to walk home from what he'd told his brother was a perfectly normal evening stroll. 

* * *

It had begun about a year and a half ago, when he'd helped Mistoffelees with a magical experiment. The magician wanted to see if he could create a potion that increased the strength of the one who drank it, and Pouncival had agreed to work as a guinea pig if Mistoffelees promised that it wasn't dangerous. It hadn't been dangerous, just... weird. Somehow things had gone wrong, a little too much of something and a little less of something else had ended up in the potion, and Pouncival had awakened the next day with knowledge how to fight and the strength to win, and on top of that his senses were now at least twice as good as they had been before. 

He had walked to Mistoffelees and demanded an explanation, but the magical cat could not explain it. Somehow the potion had given him all these abilities, and since they were not likely to go away he just had to learn and live with them. 

He and Mistoffelees had created the Great Rumpus Cat together as an alter ego of Pouncival, so that he could go out and make sure that his abilities were not wasted. The potion had made him strong enough to defeat any Pollicle, but he needed a disguise so that the cats he saved would not recognize him. If word got out that Mistoffelees has made a potion that provided such strength, and Macavity heard about it... 

It was too terrible to imagine. So Pouncival kept it a secret and fought a silent battle as the Rumpus Cat at night, but went through all the things that a young Jellicle tom had to go through by day. 

* * *

Pouncival strolled into the Jellicle junkyard casually, and immediately he heard the loud voice of Etcetera. 

"And then - POW! - he just walloped that big stupid dog right on the nose, and ­ BANG! ­ he kicked another one so hard it fell over and then ­ KABLAM! ­ he hit two of them at the same time, and he was _so_ brave, like just in the story but better, and then he came up to me and asked me if I was okay and he was _so_ cute and I was like 'yeah, I'm fine' and then he..." 

"You made quite an impression," mumbled the ever-so calm voice of Mistoffelees, who stood leaning against a trashcan right next to him. "She'll be at this for a while." 

Pouncival looked at Etcetera with a sigh. The tortoise-shell was entertaining a captive audience as she loudly proclaimed her meeting with the famous Rumpus Cat, complete with sound effects and exaggerated paw gestures. She almost knotted her legs together as she tried to describe the hero's way of disposing of the Pollicles. 

"Perhaps it would have been better if I'd left her to get eaten," muttered Pouncival. "Now we'll be hearing about this for days." 

"Tugger will be delighted," said Mistoffelees cheerily. "She'll leave him alone for a while now." He looked at his friend. "So were there really fifty of them, like our damsel in distress claims?" 

Pouncival shook his head. "Ten or perhaps eleven, I think. Not exactly the largest pack I've ever encountered." 

"And it worked out without a glitch? No injuries?" 

"Not for me. And no, before you ask, I did not discover any new powers that I might have." 

Mistoffelees smiled. "I'm just looking out for you, Pounce. We still don't know what kind of side effects the potion might have. You remember our rule, don't you?" 

"'Should I ever feel that something is not like it should be, I shall come directly to you,'" replied Pouncival mechanically. "Yes M., I still remember it." 

"Good." 

The two toms stood in silence and regarded Etcetera and her audience for a bit. 

"Do you think there will be trouble out of all this?" asked Pouncival after a while. "I mean, we both know that Etcetera has a tendency to... get obsessed about things. She certainly seems excited enough about the Rumpus Cat rescuing her so that it could mean trouble." 

"What, you mean you don't want a fan-club?" teased Mistoffelees and grinned. "If you ask real nicely you might be able to join. I mean, you should make honorary member, considering there is no one who knows more about the Rumpus Cat than you do." 

"Except perhaps you." 

The magical cat nodded thoughtfully. "Except perhaps me. In any case, I don't think you have to worry. I mean what's the worst thing that can happen?" 

* * *

"Have I told you how dreamy Rumpus Cat is?" asked Etcetera and rolled over on her back. 

She lay on the hood of the car in the junkyard with her trusty kitten companions, sunbathing and gossiping about toms. In Etcetera's case, there was only one worth talking about. 

"He has these really large red eyes that, like, pierce through you and looks into your soul," she continued when no one spoke. "He looked at me, and there was this... connection, you know? Like he recognized me. Maybe he has, like, seen me before and fallen madly in love with me, like admiring from afar or something? And now he has finally met me eye to eye and he's all shy because he's, like, thrown by my beauty. That's why he hasn't shown up again, because he's shy," she concluded her theory. 

"Or maybe he has better things to do than hang around the junkyard in search of one kitten he saved," said Victoria without opening her eyes. "I mean, he _is_ a superhero. They have a lot of work to do." 

"Nothing is more important than the quest for true love!" exclaimed Etcetera. 

"Come on, Etcie," sighed Electra and raised her head from the patch of sun she had been lying in. "You've only got a crush on him because he saved your life. Which is cool an' all but I don't think it builds the foundations for an everlasting relationship all on its own." 

"Yeah, you need to work on it more," agreed Victoria and yawned. "You know... show some dedication. Don't just sit around and wait for _him_ to come to _you_!" 

Etcetera sat up. "Dedication, huh?" she said slowly. "Okay. How do I show that?" 

Victoria sighed. "It's easy. Just... you know, show him that you're both interested in the same things. Be were you know he will be. Talk to him. And lie down again, you're blocking my light." 

Etcetera obeyed. Her mind was already working fast. If her Rumpus Cat wanted dedication from her, then that was what she was going to give him. She would be the best girlfriend he'd ever had, and then they would live happily ever after! They would fight crime together, side by side, and save each other's lives on a daily basis! That kind of thing must strengthen a relationship. 

Besides, every hero needed a sidekick. That was basically in the rulebook. Happy with this new idea, Etcetera purred herself into a half-sleep. 


	2. A Simple Request

**Two: A Simple Request**

"Misto!" 

Mistoffelees jumped, spun around and allowed his front paws to start glowing bright blue, all in one graceful movement that didn't seem surprised at all. When he noticed who had come to visit him, he let the blue light fade away again. 

"Hello, Etcetera," he said and gave her a polite nod before returning to his latest project. "What do you want?" 

The young queen walked into his laboratory and looked at his various magical and/or technical gadgets with great interest. They were strewn all over the room, hung from the walls and ceiling, and they were all in various stages of completion. 

Etcetera picked up a golden bracelet that had once belonged to a human (who had inconveniently enough lived in Victoria Grove and thus hadn't kept her treasure for very long) and now served as a magical gateway to a demon dimension, if you knew how to use it. 

"Ohh, shiny," she purred and was about to see if it fit on her head when Mistoffelees saw what she was doing and gently forced the bracelet out of her paws. 

"What do you want?" he asked again, a little firmer this time. "And may I please ask you not to touch anything in here? I'm not really sure what everything does." 

Etcetera pouted momentarily, but smiled in the next moment. "I want you to give me superpowers so that I can be the Rumpus Cat's sidekick and live happily ever after with him and fight bad guys!" 

Mistoffelees blinked, not entirely sure that he had heard her correctly. "What?" 

"I want you to give me superpowers so that I can..." 

"Yes, yes, I heard that part," replied the magical cat in annoyance. "I just wasn't sure I understood you." He paused and took a deep breath. He often found that was the proper way of dealing with Etcetera. "Why do you want superpowers?" 

"I want them because then I can show Rumpus Cat that we share an interest, and then he'll understand that we are true loves and we'll get mated and have little super-kittens and we'll live happily forever and ever!" 

She beamed at Mistoffelees, who was by now very sure that he had the mother of all headaches coming on. 

"I thought you had a thing for Tugger?" he asked before he could stop himself. 

Etcetera snorted. "Well yeah, he was an okay boyfriend for a while, but I had to break up with him. We just grew apart. It happens. He's not brave like Rumpus. So when can I get my powers? I'm ready now!" 

Oh yes, there it was. The headache. Mistoffelees groaned silently. 

"Etcetera, I can't give people superpowers," he said slowly. "Whatever made you think that I can?" 

She shrugged and gestured towards his gadgets. "You have all these cool stuff, and you've got magical powers! You can totally do anything. It's only logical. Heeey..." She suddenly got a strange gleam in her eyes. "You don't happen to be Rumpus Cat, do you? He must be someone else when he's not all superhero-y! Is it you? It is, isn't it?" 

The headache grew. 

"No Etcie, I am not the Rumpus Cat, and I can't grant you superpowers in any way, and I really, really think you should go now. I'm not feeling well." 

'And I might fry you if you insist on hanging around,' he added silently in his head. 

Etcetera pouted again but allowed herself to be half-pushed, half-escorted out of the lab. On his way out Mistoffelees inconspicuously pressed a special red button that was connected to an alarm, leading directly into Pouncival's ear through a microchip. Mistoffelees had constructed that alarm in case the lab would ever be under attack, in which case the Rumpus Cat would show up as quickly and silently as he could to evaluate the situation. 

The magical cat did not have to wait long. In just a few minutes he felt that the alarm had been answered, and that the superhero was present. 

"Good, you're here," said Mistoffelees to the air. "Come out of the shadows, if you please." 

"That alarm is strictly for emergencies," muttered the Rumpus Cat as his glowing eyes became visible. "Not something to just press whenever you feel like it." 

"This is an emergency, Pounce! I... hold on." Mistoffelees went up to the door of the laboratory and sealed it shut. "There. Turn back to yourself now." 

"What's up?" asked Pouncival half a minute later. "You okay, M.?" 

The tuxedo tom waved a paw dismissively back and forth. "Yes, yes, yes, I'm fine, I just have a slight headache due to a visit from a frantic admirer of yours." 

Pouncival blinked. "Etcetera?" he asked. "What did she want?" 

"I'll tell you what she wanted. She wanted me to give her superpowers so that she could fight alongside you and you could be together 'forever and ever', I believe the term was. She's in _love_ with you now!" Mistoffelees glared at the opposite tom. "She wants to be your trusty sidekick." 

The superhero blinked again. "But I thought that Tugger..." 

"She said she broke up with Tugger. I swear to you, that queen is living in her own private world of delusion." 

"Oh. I saw Tugger not a moment ago. He did seem bummed out for some reason." 

Mistoffelees looked at Pouncival, and Pouncival looked at Mistoffelees. 

"You don't think Tugger actually _likes_ having Etcie around, do you?" asked the hero cautiously. 

The magician frowned. "I don't know. Tugger doesn't speak about her that way, but he _does_ get a very smug look on his face whenever she screams because he's around. So maybe he actually does like her, in a player sort of way." 

Pouncival sighed. "Okay, that's his business. So, what do we do about her new attraction to Rumpus? I don't need a bubbly sidekick with a crush on me. I've got _you_ for that." 

Mistoffelees glared at the smirking tom. "Not funny." 

"Sorry, M." 

"I'm sarcastic and witty, but I am not bubbly." 

A second went past. 

"Err, M., I think you sort of missed my whole point there somewhere..." 

Mistoffelees ignored him. "In any case, I've got a plan. We don't know if this hero stuff is just a phase, as so many things are with Etcetera. We'll just watch over her and make sure she doesn't get in trouble." 

"That means _I_ am watching over her. Somehow I always end up getting the dirty job." 

"That's because you're the hero and I'm the clever sidekick. Clever sidekicks rarely do anything to get their paws dirty. I am the one with the plans, in fact..." Mistoffelees paused and smiled to himself. "I think I have a better one right now." 

* * *

First of all, Etcetera went to Jellylorum and Jennyanydots to pick up her red cape, which the two old queens had cross-stitched a large yellow F on. Etcetera's new superhero name was going to be "Fracas Queen," and she wanted a cape since she didn't feel like dyeing bits of her fur to get the same kind of mark as the Rumpus Cat had. 

Then Etcetera went around the junkyard, trying to just be superhero-y and cool, for about six minutes. It soon got boring though, since it wasn't much fun to be a superhero if you never saw anything exciting. So Etcetera went to back to Jelly and Jenny to ask if they had something that needed Fracas Queen's help. 

"You can be a sweetheart and help me with supper," suggested Jennyanydots kindly and offered her a ladle. "I'm sure it'll be a super supper then." 

Etcetera sighed deeply. "Thanks Jenny, but that's not really _hero_ work. I mean, anyone can make supper. I want to do something cool and incredible, so Rumpus Cat notices me." 

"Well then I don't understand what you're hanging around the junkyard for," said Jellylorum and took the ladle from Jenny. "The Rumpus Cat never comes around here unless something bad happens. He is probably out there right now, helping someone who's actually in trouble. You should do that too, if you want to be a hero." 

Etcetera hurried to her feet eagerly. "Yeah! That's what I'll do! I'll go out and be very brave and do something very good, and Rumpus Cat will see it! That's great! Thanks!" 

And she was out and away. 

"Be back in time for supper!" Jenny called after her, but it was doubtful that Etcetera heard it. 

* * *

The tiny kitten shook with terror and cowered before the two larger cats. They had her pressed against the wall of an alley that ended nowhere, and she didn't have a place to run. All she could do was curl up into a ball, make herself as small as possible, and pray that help would come. 

"Leave me alone," she whimpered feebly. 

"You hear that, Kit?" one of the cats asked his friend. "The little kitten wants us to leave her alone." 

"Such a teeny tiny kitten thinks she can stand a chance against the two of us, Merv?" laughed Kit nastily. "She thinks she'll last for more than two minutes?" 

"I don't know, Kit, but it sure sounds like it. You think we shall show her a thing or two about what _real_ cats do?" 

"Yes Merv, I think we shall." 

"Hey!" a voice called out from behind. "Why don't you fight someone your own size?" 

Kit and Merv turned around. At the opening of the alley stood an imposing figure, its front paws crossed over its chest and cape billowing out behind it. Kit and Merv just stared at it for a while before Kit said something. 

"Who the Heaviside are you?" 

The figure struck a dramatic pose. "I am Fracas Queen! I am the saviour of the weak, the helper of the helpless, the scourge of the evil that plagues this town! I am the one who is going to defeat you today!" 

"Is that so?" said Merv without flinching. "Well then, little queen, don't let me keep you." 

He hissed and advanced on the figure, who with a closer look turned into a suddenly very nervous-looking Etcetera in a cape. 

'O-kay, maybe I didn't think this through,' she thought. 'Bother.' 

As it turned out, she didn't need to fight. A black-furred paw came shooting out of apparently nowhere, and Merv walked straight into it. He passed out with a very surprised look on his face. 

Out of the shadows came Rumpus Cat, and he didn't look very happy. He glared at Kit, who suddenly seemed to realise that he had very important business to attend to elsewhere. Far, far away. He took off without a single glance on his fallen comrade. 

Rumpus Cat went up to the still shivering kitten. "Are you okay?" he asked kindly. 

Green eyes met his out of a tear-streamed face, and the kitten nodded. "Yessir." 

Rumpus Cat smiled. "I'm Rumpus Cat. What's your name?" 

"'S Wiscus, sir," mumbled the kitten. 

The hero frowned. "You have a tribe or a human where you can go?" 

"Yessir. 'Ve got a human family, sir. Jus' down the street." 

"Good. Then hurry back home and make sure you get a treat for being so brave today." 

"Thank you, Mr. Rumpus Cat, sir." 

Wiscus scurried away, and as she stood up, Etcetera saw that she didn't have a tail. She only had a little stump where one should be. 

"A Manx," sighed Rumpus Cat. "No wonder those two were picking on her." He looked around at Etcetera. "You shouldn't be here." 

Etcetera, who had been sort of paralysed up until now, smiled brightly. "I found you! Good! Because I've been thinking that, you know, maybe you would like to go out on a date with me sometime or something." 

"I... don't think that's a possibility, Etcetera," said Rumpus Cat slowly. "I'm sorry, but you really shouldn't be out here alone." 

"I'm not alone! You're here too!" 

"Yes, but I'm not going to hang around. I have work to do, as you might understand." 

Etcetera pouted. "You're just jealous because I'm a better superhero than you." 

Rumpus Cat stared at her. "What?" he asked, giving up. 

"I was just about to take that cat out, and you ruined it!" 

"You were about to get yourself torn into pieces. This is a dangerous alley. It's not a place for kittens." 

"I'm not a kitten!" 

"You're certainly acting like one. You don't have any powers whatsoever, and you decide to play superhero when strength is what keeps you alive?" He glared at her. "It's not a game out here. It's real, and it's dangerous, and you're not strong enough. Go home." 

She looked at him for a moment, eyes brimming with tears, and then she turned around and ran away. 

Rumpus Cat sighed. "Did I really have to be so hard on her?" he asked Mistoffelees, who materialized out of thin air next to him. 

"I'm afraid so. She needed some reality, and she has a tendency not to listen when you speak nicely to her." 

The two toms looked at the fleeing queen. They could hear her despairing sobs loud and clear. 

"She's not running home," said Rumpus Cat. "The junkyard is the other way." 

Mistoffelees nodded. "I figured she would. Come on now. Plan Lion King is in full motion." 


	3. Touch of Springtime

**Three: Touch of Springtime**

The Rum Tum Tugger, sex beast extraordinaire, was very bored. There wasn't anything to do when his fangirls weren't about, and strutting about the junkyard with no Etcetera who squealed at his every movement just wasn't the same. 

So apparently he'd lost his number one fan to a superhero. Why did that bother him so much? Had he just gotten used to her undying adoration and was now mourning the fact that she had somehow moved on? His ego had obviously been hurt, but there was something else as well. Something that he hadn't counted on. 

'This is driving me insane,' Tugger thought. 'I need to get out.' 

He got to his feet and stretched out. The sun had gone down and left the world in shadows of blue and grey, but London never really slept. Tugger heard the sounds of cars and music and humans talking, and his sensitive feline nose picked up scents from trash in the dumpsters near the junkyard and the smell of food nearby. 

It was a nice evening, quiet and undisturbed... 

"MIIIIAAAOOW!" 

That is, until someone yowled. Tugger stopped in his path and listened closely. There was something very familiar with that yowl, he noticed. It was young, and female, and... 

Etcetera. She was in trouble. He'd recognize that loud voice _anywhere_. 

'Let her superhero save her then,' said a nasty part of Tugger's brain. 'That's what superheroes do, after all.' 

But the yowl had sounded so sad, so afraid, that the rest of Tugger started running immediately. He followed it as fast as he could, hoping that she was all right, that she had just been startled by something, that things could go back to how they'd been before she had been saved by that shielded prat... 

He was aware of movement in the alley in front of him, and stopped suddenly. He recognized the slender frame of Etcetera and that ridiculous cape she was wearing, but the cat in front of her wasn't familiar at all. It was a large brown tabby tom with a long scar across his face, and the grin he gave Etcetera made him look as if he was going to swallow her whole. 

"If it ain't a little hero lass," he leered at her. "All lost and alone in a dark alley with no one to hear her scream... Ain't that a treat for poor lonely Grumbuskin?" 

Etcetera took a step back. Her eyes were wide with terror and, noticed Tugger, they looked glossy from unshed tears. Had she been crying just now? Who had the nerve to make little Etcie cry? 

'Grumbuskin,' thought Tugger and looked at the tabby. 'One of the toms that sailed the Thames with Growltiger, before the captain got himself killed at Molesey. He's here in London. He's a bad guy. And he's...' 

He's threatening my queen. 

A low growl escaped Tugger's lips. He suddenly felt angry. Etcetera had been the last to leave his side, the last to abandon him and move on. The rest of the queen kits had gotten over their crushes on him ages ago, but she had hold on, nurturing a tiny hope that someday, if she loved him enough, he would eventually love her back. Now was he not only losing her to Rumpus Cat, but she was also being threatened by a filthy pirate that wasn't even worthy of being near her. 

It was true that she was annoying, sometimes. Her screams were not of this world, but he had _liked_ that about her. He liked that she showed him how much she worshipped him. Bombalurina had never done that so clearly, it had just been subtle and secret with her even though everybody had known they were an item. That was why it hadn't worked out, and they had fought all the time. In the end she had left him, too. 

But Etcie didn't. She waited, patiently, for him to see reason and be with her. He had to admire such devotion. 

"Grumbuskin!" he called out before he could stop himself. "Let her go!" 

He saw Etcetera's expression change from horror to relief to hope to surprise in less than five seconds. She stared at him as if she couldn't believe her eyes. 

"Tugger?" she mumbled. 

Then she was brutally cast aside by Grumbuskin, who smirked at Tugger with a glimmer in his eyes. 

"A fightin' one, aye?" he asked. "'A'righ', then. I've taken a likin' to the lass, and I won't let 'er go that eas'ly." 

'Run, Etcie,' thought Tugger desperately. 'It'll be okay now. Tugger is handling the situation perfectly. Just. Run.' 

She didn't run. She sat there, still staring, a paw on her shoulder which seemed to have been hurt in the fall. She was in shock. 

"Lesse what ye've got, then," said Grumbuskin and began circling Tugger. "I haven't been fightin' for a bit, an' I'm missin' it so." 

The first punch was surprisingly sloppy, and Tugger avoided it easily. Grumbuskin was a big tom and had had a lot of exercise on Growltiger's barge, but the curious cat was considerably smarter. He ducked more than he delivered, but when he did deliver he made sure he made as much damage as possible. He aimed his claws at Grumbuskin's eyes, where a direct hit would immediately give him the upper paw. It was strange though... Sometimes, just sometimes, it almost seemed as if the pirate _wanted_ Tugger to win. He would throw punches that were doomed from the start, and failed to duck when Tugger took a swing. 

It was... weird. Very weird. But Tugger wasn't the kind of tom that dwelled upon things like that. If Grumbuskin wanted Tugger to win, he was fine with that. 

It was about then that Grumbuskin completely knocked him out. The hit was so sudden and so hard that Tugger saw stars and fell to the ground. When he could see again he expected to be met with the image of Grumbuskin carrying innocent Etcetera off somewhere where he would never find her, but that didn't happen. If anything, Grumbuskin looked nervously at Tugger, turned on the spot, and fled. 

Etcetera squeaked and hurried up to her fallen hero. "Tug?" she whispered softly in his ear. "Tuggy? Are... are you okay?" 

Tugger opened his eyes. Oh, _that_ was going to sting in the morning... 

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I'm okay. Just great. Are _you_ okay?" 

"My shoulder hurts," she said timidly and blushed. "You... you _saved_ me. I... I thought you weren't, you know, that brave..." 

Tugger groaned and sat up. He shrugged, and grimaced at the pain in his shoulders. "Yeah, well..." 

Before he knew it, she was in his arms, nuzzling her face into his chest and purring. At first he was sort of at loss for what to do, but she felt nice and warm and oh so soft, so he carefully placed his arms around her, pulling her closer. He hadn't noticed it before, but Etcetera smelt like springtime just behind the ears. He inhaled her scent, filled his lungs with it, and felt how good it did. Then he gently pushed up her face to his, and gave her a tender lick right on the nose. 

* * *

Grumbuskin watched the scene from a house roof, basically bouncing up and down with joy. Then he remembered the pain and winced, but no one could take away the pleased look on his face. 

"We did good there, didn't we?" he told the air, his pirate accent completely forgotten. "I think Etcetera will have other matters on her mind _very_ soon." 

Mistoffelees chuckled as he showed up. "Oh yes, I think this whole plan was an enormous success." He looked at Grumbuskin. "And you make a rather nice pirate, I might add." 

"Why thank you, M., I do my very best. Do you mind putting me back to normal now?" 

"Not at all." 

Mistoffelees waved a paw, and the rogue features of the pirate melted away into the friendly face of Pouncival. The young tom stretched out and looked very pleased when he saw that his wounds had healed completely. 

"That's much better." He regarded Tugger and Etcetera in the alley below. "I didn't think you'd go with the licking-idea, though." 

Mistoffelees smiled. "I didn't. That was all Tugger." Pouncival looked confused, so he continued. "The spell I cast over him to make him go to the correct alley at the correct time didn't have any influence whatsoever on Tugger's thoughts or actions. Everything he did just now he did on his own, and not because I commanded him to. Isn't that sweet?" 

"So Tugger really is fond of Etcie. Imagine that." 

The two toms, the superhero and the magician, watched as the pair in the alley got up and started walking slowly back to the junkyard, Tugger leaning on Etcetera as much as he dared. The spectators waited until they had both disappeared out of sight, before Mistoffelees turned to Pouncival again. 

"Back to work?" he asked. 

Pouncival smiled, and as he did his eyes started to glow red, his fur darkened into midnight, and a large R came into view on his chest. 

"Of course," said the Rumpus Cat. 

End

* * *

So that was it, then. I hope people liked it, and that you'll show your appreciation with a little review. Come on. Just a little one?


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